Everybody Shuffle

Never been to a tour closer before — just two weeks till the big night. Looking forward to the surprises the end of a tour might bring. If he is bringing the above out of mothballs, no telling what’s still in the cupboard.

Nooks and Crannies

I’m not talking about muffins in this case, gentle reader. This is an ode to our humble market place of Buffalo.

I went to a talk inappropriately labeled “Journalism on the Brink” last week at the Burchfield Penny. It got me thinking about advertising (which I buy for my employer) in this area and in these mediums as we as a people are kind of provincial. The Buffalo area is very unique in that everything is 20 mins or so away. There are a few exceptions to that, of course. But tell a Los Angeles native how long it takes you to get to work and I guarantee that since you won’t use the word “hours” they will be snow white with envy.

I grew up in Clarence and my folks still reside there. I moved into the city in 1988 and no more than a few month go by ever since that I hear somebody say the phrase “All the way from the City” or some variation on that theme, like you have to stop off in Cheektowaga to load up on provisions to complete your journey.

I want to advocate a little localized wanderlust. C’mon into the big city for something other than the Allentown Art Festival.

Santisero’s on Niagara Street has spaghetti parm that is just as good as Chef’s without the hype, the wait or the care that there is something at the Arena that night.

Did you know the marina has a beach? It’s probably covered up now, but you can get some actual sand in your shoes at the Erie Basin Marina. With a little more grooming, it could be something. When the tide is right, Woodlawn has great little pile of sand to play in as well.

The small boat harbor actually has a beach nearby it, where you can fall in the water appropriately. LaSalle Park is a pretty nice park and its abandoned boat launch is sitting in the shadows of the lakefront condos, crying out as a place for you to launch your kayak from. Imagine, take it off your car, walk a 100 feet and you are in the water. I’ve often maintained that the things are succeeding are doing so inspite of city hall instead of because of it. That might be overly cynical, which would not be an inaccurate assessment. The trick lies in convincing a soul who doesn’t live on Broadway that you can go to Parisonns (I know I didn’t spell that right) and snag a polish platter for lunch and all is right with your world, even when it isn’t easter.

The aforementioned LaSalle Park hosted a concert series a bunch of years ago that brought Tito Puente (how cool was that), America, Dixie Chicks, Natalie Cole, and Ramsay Lewis in one summer. How insanely cool is that? If you took a poll on those nights, I’d wager that all of my fellow attendees were all within the city limits.

Discovery is a joyful thing, even on a primal level. Ted’s makes a pretty good burger, but holy crap, the Sterling Place fed my soul with theirs a few weeks ago, and they will again. Sure, it is easy to snicker at the 15 year old Artvoice banner on the AM&A’s building or wonder if the Main Place Mall ever gets a customer, but there is some stuff down here if you are willing to look. I got a glaring reminder about Cazenovia Park over Halloween. Hadn’t been in ages, but never have you. Have you?

I used to work at Main and Tupper in the evenings and around 10 pm, you could look and see the Studio Arena crowds breaking up and folks would be walking to their cars. Inevitably, some looking over their shoulders at some unseen entity. Never thought about it beyond that, talking the walk to Ulrichs for potato pancakes. Every once in awhile, that is still a stroll worth taking.

Slowly but surely, tides are turning. Guercios and Frontier have company on Grant Street. Guercios, by the way, could kick the butt out of all the produce sections every grocery store, but stay out on Maple Rd where it’s “safe.” I’ll think about you while I’m partaking of a jaunt out the pier at the foot of Ferry.

There are good things everywhere, sometimes you just have to want to look.

Precious Cargo.

Always remember, safety first — safe growler transport prevents spillage

Glenn Beck’s Organs

Thank god for Jon Stewart

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Hell: An explanation

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct…… leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

The Bronx Tale

I’ve never been a big New York Yankee fan. I was never a hater, just not a big booster. I think professional appreciator might be the most apt description. There is a faction who bemoans what Steinbrenner has allegedly done to the game. The game was more at fault in my eyes. Some of the true hardcores get a little over zealous in the off years, but I think the bulk of the Steinbrenner griping comes from fans of other teams whose best guys wind up in the Bronx.

That is an easy thing to understand. The Yankees are iconic. When they do well, baseball does well. Interest and ratings both ramp up. It’s the same reason the Cowboys are regularly on prime time, even if you aren’t a fan, you sort of want to see what is going on.

I do remember going to a Blue Jays game solely because the Yankees were coming to town. Everybody gets a little too cranked up at times. I enjoyed the Yankees in their 90s run as they were an actual good team. Sure, George has deeper pockets than most, but they were spent right in those years and this year’s as well. When Johnny Damon took third the other night, it might have been one of the smart moves I’ve seen in the field of all season.

The games despite whatever else could be construed as being wrong with the spectacle (poor umpiring, late starts) were really great baseball, right on down to Hidecki Matsui showing Pedro Martinez who his daddy really is. The Phillies are a great team, but there was something about Chase Utley’s slick backed hair that preventing me from liking them, or maybe it was Ryan Howard swinging in the breeze like a broken shutter. And the cool part was seeing what a good TEAM the Yankees were. I know Matsui is probably gone and Damon is more likely to DH than field next year, but when they win, it’s good for baseball. Happily it was also good baseball.

“The First Fall Classic”

One of the things that keeps me watching baseball is its sense of history. The icons (buildings, clubs, players) always loom. One of my favorite books was “Ball Four” by Jim Bouton. I wound up having a conversation with Mr. Bouton on a completely different matter and of course, he offered to inscribe my copy. This is after who I realized with whom I was chatting and let professional stances head right out the door. I’ve digested his other works including his leading the battle to keep the local minor league stadium in his current hometown afloat. From there, I’ve digested the works of Thomas Boswell, David Halberstram, Peter Gammons and many others. It’s no coincidence that some of the better baseball movies come from the less glamourous moments, because that is often where the best stories are.

It was a kick to pick up “The First Fall Classic” by Mike Vaccaro. Mike was two years behind me at St. Bonaventure University and tells a great tale of what remains (in the words of his publisher), “nearly a century later, the greatest World Series ever played. In October of 1912, seven years before gambling nearly destroyed the sport, the world of baseball got lucky. It would get two teams-the Boston Red Sox and the New York Giants, winners of a combined 208 games during the regular season-who may well have been the two finest ball clubs ever assembled to that point. Most importantly, during the course of eight games spanning nine days in that marvelous baseball autumn, they would elevate the World Series from a regional October novelty to a national obsession. The games would fight for space on the front pages of the nation’s newspapers, battling both an assassin’s bullet and the most sensational trial of the young century, with the Series often carrying the day and earning the “wood.” In THE FIRST FALL CLASSIC, veteran sports journalist and author Mike Vaccaro brings to life a bygone era in cinematic and intimate detail-and gives fans a wonderful page-turner that re-creates the magic and suspense of the world’s first great series.”

I have an affinity for the publishers notes since I used to write them. I remember the first time I read “Eight Men Out” by Eliot Asimov. He told story elements like they were bullet points. You saw the scene but there was no extraneous materials. Mike gives the lesser known tale of the 1912 Series a great cinematic feel which is even more impressive since the actual visuals aren’t necessarily ready at hand. It’s a tremendous work and I’m glad to see somebody I knew deserve the glowing reviews he is currently receiving. There is no grand collection of highlights to cull from but having the book, I feel like I’ve seen them.

Nice job, Mike

“Hold On, I’m coming”

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame did what it does best, and celebrated itself last week with a pair of concerts at Madison Square Garden. Either night would have been pretty cool to be a part. Some of the collaborations jelled, some were train wrecks, and as a long time fan, I would have loved to have had a look.

You get the impression that the E Street band would be happy covering Soul and R&B classics. This is pretty shaky, but if the possibilities don’t make you want to get HBO to see the show, you need a checkup.

And Bono said U2 couldn’t cover, put they did well with Jagger and the Black Eye Peas

Clever, hot-doggin, or poor sportsmanship

Central hosting Zachary High School. After a touchdown, Central goes for two. Quarterback Will Briscoe throws behind the back hitting wide open Shedrick Davis. As the saying goes, it ain’t showing off if you can do it.

I’m voting for clever

A little night music

Set those clocks back…