You’re gonna wanna…attack Lackawanna

I can’t believe Vice President Cheney wanted to send the military into Lackawanna to get the Lackawanna Six. Aside from the staggering abuse of power and constitutional issues it would have raised, what would have possessed him to think that was necessary. The man would bring a rocket launcher to a pie fight. In one of the early episodes of “The West Wing,” the chiefs talk President Bartlet into accepting a proportional response. Mr. Cheney has done what I didn’t think possible, get me to thinking that President Bush was the voice of reason.

I mean has he ever been to Lackawanna? Nice neighborhoods and abandoned steel mills and Curly’s — None of those spell military intervention.

But maybe that is how Buffalo gets more federal dollars. If we would have gotten invaded we’d be hip deep in government contracts by now. Haliburton would surpass UB as the region’s largest employer. The national media would be happy, short traveling distances and more bars to drink in than in Bagdhad, again benefitting the local economy. News Directors would be thrilled with cheaper less trouble free live shots. The budget problems currently facing the state would be gone given all the dollars paid to people like, the Vice President’s former company. Prime time coverage could be live given our eastern standard time zone. All those companies funneling dollars into Iraq would have to channel some to this demilitarized zone. Think of all the places you can get wings around — we’re lousy with weapons of mass destruction, witness the amount of Genesee consumption.


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