The Floating Office Party

I hate em. Every since I ascended back into bachelorhood, my distaste for them has only gotten enhanced. Since I’m more not in a relationship than I am in one, they are ugly reminders that I’m mostly alone. My vocation demands faked sincerity, a smile and nod is part of the role you play. That said, when it comes to genuine social stuff, I’ve always been a little off-kilter, don’t know why exactly, but I’ve never been mistaken for a smooth operator.

Went to my second company function in the two years I’ve been at my post. Since it was on the Miss Buffalo, I couldn’t help but think of the Booze Cruise episode of “The Office.” The immediate group of folk I work are all pretty great and it is a nice ride. I believe I may have been overcatered lately. 3 out of the 4 meals I had in Verona last week have been roast beef laden. I stopped by my folks over the weekend, where they were having roast beef and what’s on board ship….you guessed it. My insides were going to sue me for malpractice. I opted for the poultry such as it was. Maybe the three or four glasses of beer didn’t help (usually don’t hurt), but the high beef intake made me sleepy. About 2/3rds of the way through the cruise, I was done. I wanted out. Just enough wake on the water and in my gullett, that I was done. It felt a little like claustrophobia except we were outdoors, so I shut down even further than usual.

My boss was asking something about my kids, and I may have replied with something like “they’re surprisingly delicious.” When the boat made the big uturn to prepare to dock, I nearly had a panic attack thinking he was going to overshoot the mark. Obviously not, but something wasn’t right. I lost my schmoozing ability.

Weird, no more roast beef for me.

Advertisement