When Black Friday calls…

First of all, that doesn’t sound cool at all, only when Steely Dan sings it.

More truth this than not. The idea of midnight shopping on Thanksgiving seemed a little weird to me last year, and this year, with the waves of specials, starting at 8 on Thanksgiving night. I have to express admiration at how fast something so outlandish, such a wack-adoodle of a notion became the norm. I’m not keen on it, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a marketing tactic. I mean, it is a great con. People seem to be quite content  to ignore Thanksgiving for a mall crawl. Now, I appreciate great deal or wanting to procure something special, but given that we had an unrelenting set of election ads replaced by a ceaseless series of Christmas shopping ads, a break seemed good.  I understand having to work a holiday having had to do so periodically, but I don’t think anybody really demanded retailers to open up on Thursday evening. For my part, I was enjoying my food coma at one end of this and slept through the other end of the shenanigans.

But I do think all the emphasis adds to the seasonal depression that surfaces this time of year. I know for my own part, I’d worry about the holidays as a way of staying somewhat relevant to my own kids. It’s foolish and I know that now, but such are the problems of divorced folk who give a damn.

With T-Day sneaking in earlier and the retailers wanting to increase business, here’s what should of happened: All the door-busting, stampede inducing, dessert cheating shenanigans should go on Wednesday during regular hours. Some of the “coverage” of this “news event” tonight mentioned that traffic during the normal portion of the day was lessened by starting Thursday evening.  There were droves out, which is why my idea is DOA, but think of it. Shop yer face off during normal hours Wednesday, and generate more business because regular hours are longer than the stampedes of last night. The stores save on OT and gain good P.R. from leaving Thursday alone and everybody can go batshit crazy at dawn’s early light the Friday after Thanksgiving.

Maybe we wouldn’t have to guess what retail chain will be the unfortunate locale for some poor slob under a stampede because he couldn’t keep up with the rush to get 60 inch tv sets or see sights like the footage of the near riot trying to get into the lingerie chain’s store in California this morning..

It makes sense from all angles, so it will never happen.