Used Cars

So, I just completed that daunting task, that least liked yet most desired of consumer transactions, the buying of a car.

I think people generally like the experience of acquiring a new car, but everybody is wary of what goes into that point before you get to drive away. It should be simpler. It really should. You shouldn’t have that sense of dread or just how much can I keep from getting screwed mentality. It should be easier to get to that point where you can relax a bit instead of being on guard, on edge against the haggling on an epic scale mentality.

Purchasing should be less gimmicky and less prone to nonsense.

Now, I got a nice car and a good deal, and a warranty to boot, but the stuff you have to go through to get there is pretty ridiculous.

I left my key so my 2005 Corolla could be appraised and was taken on a nonsensical tour of all the service bays and other rooms that accomplished nothing. We came back and I asked for my key for my car. “Well, Mike, let’s look at the deal…”  By this point I had told them what I could afford for the car I was interested in, and asked for my key again. The manager comes down to talk to me (Without my friggen key) and wants to talk more. I’m fine with talking but enough of the foolishness and faux ransom. I told him one more time what I could afford. If he could do that, we got a deal. Because the theatrics took so long, it went dark and there was no longer anybody for him to talk to, and as result, he tells me he will contact me in the morning and on the FOURTH request surrenders my key.

I head home and begin the next day at my office, morning goes by, nothing.  2pm and the guy who was going to call me “in the morning” didn’t specify as to which one he was referring to is off, but he told the guy who is on duty.

Yeah, sure.

The original sales rep calls up with an offer. It bares no passing resemblance to what was discussed the night before. I, by this time, have no problem being every bit the snide jerk back to them and in my best angry dad voice, remind them of where my line in the sand stood, the previous night’s best offer. The salesman, who had no idea about the car, say he’ll try “to work that miracle for me.”

“if I can complete that Hail Mary, can I call you?”

Yeah, sure, especially since we agreed to that LAST NIGHT!!

Now, he didn’t know the car, and that’s fine, you got a lot of em, it’s a lot to keep track of, but a little honesty. If you don’t know something, say so, don’t keep talking and let your voice trail off with every sentence. I’m not a rocket scientist, but my bullshit detector is running pretty high. I mean I’m a parent, I can tell when a tale is being woven, nearly told the guy to ask his mother.

Done, and done, but wait, there’s more.

We have to go talk about “accessories.” Again, don’t switch off the bullshit detector. Deal is done, but they want to know if I want an overpriced aftermarket remote starter, floormats, serial number etchings, etc.


Then I get to fill out the customer survey. I couldn’t do it without laughing. If you looked around the dealership, I expected to hear the Yakity Sax music from Benny Hill playing.

A good car and ultimately a good deal, but good thing the nonsense was affordable as there was lots of it.

It’s no wonder we all like cars, but nobody likes buying em.